So, what is the reason for our haste in ‘getting there’?
Many say they just want to know the outcome!
They say, in the gap between where they are and where they are headed (in that unknown space), they don’t have control
Not having control can feel uncomfortable; striving for control can seem the obvious solution.
Control for quicker results, familiar outcomes, manageable steps.
With so much going on in our lives and change more rapid, it’s no wonder control feels further away, and overwhelm more prevalent.
However as resilient human beings, with a natural survival response, we adjust!
What do we do?
We often become more determined, skilled and efficient, to maintain our ability to control.
We work harder and smarter to stay on top of things.
We create tighter routines to establish efficiencies.
And in some instances, these routines and efficiencies begin to look more like obsessions.
So, what happens when these routines and efficiencies are under duress?
When you become too stretched, or unable to uphold their magnitude?
Where the ‘one more thing’ actually does ‘break the camel’s back?’
Where do you turn next?
How do you deal with the emotional and mental stress to ‘cope’, when the thread that once held things together, is let loose?
This pattern, seems more common now-a-days.
So, how can we do it differently?
How can we release this stranglehold?
Is it possible?
We say YES there are alternatives.
We see that something as simple as ‘knowing where you are’, can often be a great alternative to ‘over controlling’ and ‘over doing.’
Think about it – usually at the root of control in the first place, is to feel safe.
So, in reality, how safe are you?
You are likely to be more so than you think!
Knowing this alone, can lessen the anxiety that underpins control.
Let’s look at this in relation to a simple example.
You are overwhelmed. You have so much to do. The thought drives you to work promptly and harder to safely achieve it. You get started on the work straight away. You just need to get the work done. With the pressure, the task ends up taking longer and requiring more effort to complete. With more interruptions, the task feels much bigger than it is.
When you use the alternative approach, you talk differently to it. You let yourself know where you at with it. You ‘know’ that the task will take about 30 minutes to complete, it is within your capability and resources, it is not urgent to finish and can be done in your own time frame and way. You can trust you can let it go, for now. You know where you are at with it. That knowing, can free you from being controlled by it.
As the picture becomes more visible, new and creative ways for a ‘safe landing’ approach is possible.
Direction, effort, energy and urgency becomes clearer.
The task is often less taxing than you imagine.
Sometimes, just knowing where you are, is ALL you need to know and tell yourself, to lessen the intensity.
Knowing where you are on micro matters such as a task or situation.
Knowing where you are on a macro level such as this year, this job, this period of my life.
Try it for yourself, to discover if this simple alternative does step you closer to ‘letting go’ safely?
Letting go can lead to more time and energy for productive, constructive ventures along your road to success, and that can only be helpful!
The Vision Web process helps you to ‘know just where you are’.